Learning to Love Like Pups

Pups has been teaching me so much about my relationship with God in the past week. Pups’ genuine love for me has caused me to evaluate my heart for God.

After being at school for a few months, I came home on Friday for Thanksgiving Break to the warmest welcome home I have ever experienced. Pups was going absolutely ballistic, running in circles and jumping up and down and barking because he could not contain his excitement. He was jumping on the furniture, doing laps through the house, and just wanting me to hold him or touch him or pet him. Literally all week long, he has been all over me. He sleeps in my bed, with his little paws wrapped tightly around me. He listens to everything I say. If I tell him to move to a different spot on the bed, he obeys because he knows that it will please me. He so desperately wants to please me, not because he's to earn anything for himself, but simply because he loves me so much. He isn’t trying to earn an extra bone or a longer walk in the morning. He just loves me, and wants to be obedient to me out of love. He follows me around the house, never wanting to leave my side. It’s honestly hard for me to leave home, because he cries and whines and looks at me with these sad puppy dog eyes and watches me through the window as I pull out. Even from the end of the driveway, I can see that sad look in his eyes as I drive off without him. He wants nothing more than to be in my presence. He wants to come in the car. He doesn’t care where we are going, he just wants to be there with me. It’s really the sweetest dang thing. It’s the most genuine, unconditional love.

These things clearly reflect a person’s relationship with God. Do we genuinely love Him? Do we long to be in His presence? Do we jump up and down with excitement over spending time with Him? If someone looked at our lives, would it be clear based on your daily life that you love Him?

When I take hPups running, he completely trusts me. He stays by my side, and trusts that where I am taking him is safe. We run through the neighborhood, through parks, across busy streets, up and down and back through trails. If I were to run in front of a car, he would be right by my side. He trusts me without hesitation. And it is true, I love him back, and am looking out for his best interest. Sometimes, he doesn’t want to stop at the crosswalk. He wants to just keep going! But sometimes, there’s a car whipping around the corner, and it’s not safe to keep going. He wants to get to the other side of the street, which looks like so much fun, but the path to get there is not safe yet. I hold him back. For him, at the time, he might not understand why I would make him stop running and ruin the fun, but he trusts me anyway. I keep him on a leash because I love him, not because I am trying to make running a little bit less fun for him or because I enjoy restraining his freedom. I love him and want to make sure he is safe!

Do we trust God completely? Are we ok with being put on a “leash” if that means that God is keeping us safe? Do we trust Him that His prevention of certain ‘fun’ things in our lives is for our benefit? Do we stay right at our Master’s side, or do we try with all our might to break the leash?  

Sometimes I take him outside to play without a leash on. I generally take him somewhere safe, not near a busy highway or something crazy. But when he doesn't have the leash on, I have to trust that he will listen to my commands. If there is a car coming, I'll probably back up quite a bit and tell him to sit and stay. But it is still his choice to obey this command or disobey this command. He had the freedom to run in front of the car. Maybe there's a squirrel on the other side of the street, and it looks like so much fun to go chase that squirrel for a minute. That temptation is there. I'm not telling him to sit and stay to ruin his fun of chasing the squirrel, I'm giving him these commands because they are in his own best interest. He might not have the ability to realize that at the moment. He might not have the ability to realize that ever. But that doesn't make it any less true.

We, too, have the freedom to obey or disobey God. His commands for us are for our own best interest. He knows that sin will destroy our lives. It brings only bad things for us. Sometimes, it may seem that the sinful decision is more fun, kind of like chasing the squirrel. But God tells us to stay, because there just might be a car racing around the corner that we cannot see because our eyes are glued to that squirrel (or any temptation). God doesn't give us commands to ruin our lives and prevent us from having fun. On the contrary, He loves us that much. We might not have the ability to realize that He sees something that we can't see (like the car), and that He is protecting us from it. We have to trust Him, that His commands for us are because He truly loves us. 

Every time I walk in the door, even if I’ve only been gone for an hour, or for 15 minutes, Pups greets me with excitement. His love is so genuine! He jumps up on me and nuzzles my hands because he is genuinely excited to be with me! If this were just a routine, however, I wouldn’t feel the love. If I trained him to stand up and walk over to me and bark three times and lick my hand, and he did this every time I walked in the door, I wouldn’t feel the love. Although these actions might look similar on the outside, the heart behind them is completely different, and the Master feels the genuine love that comes from the heart.

Do we “spend time” with God out of a true desire of our heart to meet with Him? Or are we in a routine where we have been “trained” to read our Bibles for 15 minutes every morning or say a thirty-second prayer before we eat? God doesn’t care about worthless deeds, He cares about our hearts behind them.

Here’s another what-if scenario. Let’s say that every time I came home, Pups was excited to see me and showed me all kinds of affection. Feeling the love, I wanted to reward him in return. I was not obligated to, but I wanted to. So I started giving him a Milkbone after he greeted me at the door. After a few weeks, let’s pretend that Pups started to like the Milkbone more than he liked me. Even though I’m the one who bought the Milkbone from the store, brought it home, opened the bag, and put it in his mouth. All of that came from me. When I got home, he was no longer excited about seeing me, he was excited about me giving him the Milkbone. He started to love the gifts I provided more than he loved me for myself. This would be very hurtful to me! If I stopped providing the Milkbone, would he still love me? Or would he feel as though I had removed something from his life that he “deserved?”

Are we obedient to Him because we love Him, or because we want rewards for ourselves? Are we obedient to Him at all? Do we “spend time” with Him out of a true desire of our heart to meet with Him? Or are we more in love with Creation than the Creator?

Food for thought. Shout out to Pups for being the best and most snuggly dog ever.

Salzburg, Austria

Salzburg is a beautiful Austrian city. It's the 4th biggest city in Austria (behind Vienna, Graz, and Linz), but probably the most touristy for Americans. It's where the Sound of Music was filmed, and where Mozart was born. It's a picture perfect city; too perfect looking for some. We loved hanging out here for a day and a half. We rented bikes and explored the city, and saw the sites of the Sound of Music footage. We went in the castle, which was so cool. It's the most castley-castle I would say; exactly what you would imagine a castle to look like as a kid. We looked out from the lookout tower of the whole city, went into the dungeon and the torture chamber, and through the various rooms. It was pretty dang cool. During the day, we would sit in Mozartplatz and eat bread and cheese, and I would drink Almdudler while Dad and Crystal drank wine. We saw Mozart's birth house, and his famous statue. I liked just wandering the streets of the city on our bikes, you can see a lot of places when you have a bike. We biked along the river, and through the park where Maria taught the children to sing "Do, a deer, a female deer!" It was great  :)  We didn't stay at the best hotel, it was called The Snooze. We were a little embarrassed to give the name of our hotel to the bike rental place, hahaa. But it was a place to sleep, that's all you really need. And it turned into a funny joke of our trip- "Time to go back to the Snooze..." No complaints from me though, after some of the places I've stayed!  Compared to some of our hostels we've been in, The Snooze was like a palace!  Anyway, Salzburg- check!

Dad and Crystal at the famous city park... castle in the background.

just hangin' in a tree.

torture instruments from inside the castle

the city from the lookout tower of the castle

on top of the castle

the Snooze Hotel!!

hello beautiful city

with our bikes

roarrr!

Mozart's birthhouse

drinking Almdudler in Mozartplatz

Dad and Crystal

Dachstein, Austria

Dachstein was a little mountain town that we accidentally stumbled upon. We stayed in a "guest house" of a tiny hotel, up in the mountains. It was so beautiful! Dachstein was the complete opposite of Prague. We went from a crazy, partying, huge city, to a little mountain town with the restaurants closed by 9 pm and the streets cleared out before the sun went down. Absolutely beautiful place! We went up in the mountains to the "glacier," went into an ice cave, did some hiking, and went mountain biking. Our apartment had a kitchen and a fireplace, and one of the nights we made our own dinner and made a fire. It was one of my favorite nights, just relaxing inside our little cabin. Pretty great. Very Austrian.

our "guest house"

view out my bathroom window!  (pretty great place to pee lol)

me and dad

at the top of the mountain

crystal and dad

wooooo!

well hello there little bird!

hahaa... dad the "Ice King" inside the ice cave

one of my favorite picture i've ever taken!  looks like they posed just for me!

making a fire in our apartment

Ich Liebe Osterreich!!!!

Czech This Story Out

Story time....

So we hire this Czech shuttle service to take us from Prague to Hallstadt, and book it online. We don’t really have any idea how it works or what exactly takes place; but we assume they will pick us up in Prague and drop us off in Hallstadt. So they come pick us up, and we get in the car with a driver named David. He doesn’t speak English, but off we go. We drive for about three hours, and he pulls into some cute town near the border of Czech Republic and Austria. We pull up and he talks to a few police officers, and we have no idea what’s going on. We figure maybe he needs to buy a drink or use the bathroom. He gets out of the car, and then another guy comes to the window of the car and asks us what we want to do. We’re confused, and tell him whatever our driver wants to do is fine. He explains that we will change drivers, and the other one will take us the rest of the way, which is about 3 hours. We had no idea it was so far. He asks us how long we want to stay in the town, an hour or so maybe? We tell him maybe a half hour; we just want to get there. He gives us a city map, and asks us if we want to go for a walk. So we grab our purses from the car, and go walk up the street a little bit. I didn’t think anything of it, but Dad said he had a funny feeling about it. Leaving all of our stuff in the car, and walking away, not even knowing we were stopping in this town… so we decided to go back to the car. We’d literally been gone maybe two minutes. We head back, go around the corner, and the car’s gone. Instantly, we start freakin’ out. All of our stuff, my laptop, everything… all in the car and gone. So we try to find someone to ask where they went. We’re all feeling anxious, and our minds start going to the what if’s of every aspect of the situation. What will we do if… we’re stranded in a random town in the Czech Republic with nothing?  We find the guy, and ask him where the car is. He tells us that they’re not allowed to park on the street, so he went to pick up the other driver and move the car, and that they’d be back in just a few minutes. So there we are, standing on the street corner, praying that the car with all of our stuff in it isn’t being stolen and that we aren’t being scammed and that the car comes back just as it should. Those were the longest ten minutes ever, but they did come back. Oh helloooo sigh of relief when we saw our suitcases sitting untouched in the trunk!  Good news: we didn’t get scammed, and we made it to our hotel in Hallstatt just fine and with wonderful service. Whewww. 

Prague, Czech Republic

July 9^th, 2012

standing with the guard of the castle

what's up Prague?!!

Dad and Crystal in front of the castle

inside the cathedral

so many people!!!

from up in the tower overlooking the city

The Claw admiring the town square

me and dad at the Prague castle

Crystal and I roaming the streets for some night pics

the Jewish cemetary

Dad and Crystal at the monestary

Czech money!!

Well right now I am sitting in the front seat of a car, being driven by some shuttle driver named Tomas, and Dad and Crystal are in the back. We’re on our way to Hallstatt, Austria, after 3 wonderful days in Prague. I met Dad and Crystal in Vienna on Thursday. After carrying two huge suitcases, a backpack stuffed to the max, a giant shopping bag filled to the brim, and George (my 24 year old stuffed sheepdog) from Graz to Vienna, I was exhausted and so thankful when I finally found my dad on the street! It’s hard to find someone in a huge capital city without cell phones! But it worked out just fine.

Dad and Crystal’s luggage didn’t make it to Austria the first night, so that was a bit of  a problem. But we made do with what we had, bought a pair of underwear and a clean shirt, and hoped it would come the next morning. They told us that the luggage would arrive in Vienna the next morning around 8:30 am, and that a taxi would take the luggage to our hotel right away. We were supposed to catch a 12:30 train from Vienna to Prague, so we were hoping it would come pretty early in the morning. Well breakfast came and went, and around noon we still hadn’t heard from the airport people. So we changed our train schedule, and hoped to get on one at 2:30. We waited at the hotel eagerly for the luggage to be dropped off. Fifteen minutes pass, then thirty, then an hour, next thing we know it’s 2:00. Just when we started trying to decide what to do if the luggage never showed up, a cab pulled in. The driver opened the door, took the final puffs of his cigarette, threw the cig on the ground, and went to open the trunk. We realized it was ours, hurried to grab it out, and to try to catch our train. We went across the street, and jumped in with the taxi driver that looked the fastest. We told him we had to hurry, to get to the train station as quickly as possible. By that time it was 2:08, and about a fifteen minute ride to the train station. It was gonna be close. The driver was awesome, and drove on the tram tracks to pass a bunch of cars and get us there fast. He dropped us off at 2:29. We grabbed our bags, ran with our suitcases down the ramp, found the right platform, ran onto the train, stepped inside, closed the door, and the train left within about 45 seconds. Out of breath and still realizing what had just happened, we went to find a seat. Whew. Made it. Off to Prague we go.

After five hours on the train, we made it there just fine. The concierge of our apartment met us at the train station to give us a ride back to the apartments we were renting. Her name was Johanna, and she was so great. Seriously sweetest little thing. We got settled in, and went to get something to eat. Great first night.

The next day, we were up and at ‘em and ready to take on Prague! We started off at the Prague Castle. We went inside a few different churches and the city hall type thing. Everything was so ancient. There were buildings from the 12^th century, still in use. We saw the castle guards, standing perfectly still and with no facial expressions. I was watching them, and one had sweat slowly dripping down his face. I can’t imagine not being able to move your arm and wipe the sweat from your face. I sure hope those guards get paid well. We walked through the courtyard of the castle, and I could just imagine royal children hundreds of years ago playing there. So cool.

We stopped and got some lunch at a traditional Czech restaurant, which used to be a hangman’s house! Dad and Crystal ate goulash soup with dumplings, but I wasn’t feelin’ it, so I just got a salad and some potato dumplings. Great place. In the afternoon, we walked to the Charles Bridge. This was the first bridge that was built in Prague to cross the river, and it was built by hand in the 13^th century. It’s very elegant, with statues all along it. I’m sure people came from very far away to get to the bridge to cross the river.

We went to Old Town, and saw a famous church called Our Lady of Tym. It was huge, right in the main square. There’s a famous clock tower there too, that we went up in. You can see the whole city from up there. I loved it! Dad is a little bit afraid of heights, so it wasn’t really his favorite part of the day, to say the least, but we had fun and got some great pictures. After walking some more, we stopped in the square and got some drinks. Great people watching from there. They come in all shapes and sizes! What else… Oh, the whole city is cobblestone.  That was pretty cool, but hard on our feet after a while.  Anyway, Saturday night we went to an Irish Pub. We drank beer/wine/cider and ate fish and chips. So much fun!

Sunday, we tried to go to a church service at one of the churches, but must have gotten the time wrong or something because no one was inside. So we went to the castle to finish our tour there. We went to the “Golden Lane,” which is the street merchants and artisans of the castle used to live. We saw the housing of the old medicine man, the local seamstress, the fortune teller, and a few others. We also went into the “towers” of the castle, which used to be used as prisons. You go down, down, down, into a big stone room where prisoners were kept. We saw cages that looked like dog cages, where people were kept. There was a “leading fork” with spikes that went around the person’s neck, used to guide them where they wanted them to go. There was a “Spanish boot” that had spikes on it and would tighten around the person’s ankle. Ouch. There was a contraption that tightened around a person’s neck, also with spikes of course. And the worst one was the “human cage.” It had shackles around every part of the person’s body, and was connected to a pulley. For the really bad guys, they would put the person in the human cage, and then lower them into the basement dungeon of the tower, where they would stay. They would drop the prisoners down some bread and water whenever they wanted to. One guy we read about stayed down there for a few years, with nothing but bread and water, until he was eventually beheaded. The tower was used as a prison until the mid 16^th century.

Later in the afternoon, we went to the Jewish part of Prague. We went into the Jewish museum, dedicated to the Jews from Prague who were killed during the Holocaust. The names of the people were written on the walls, and it seemed like they were never ending. There were also many displays of children’s artwork, which were done by Jewish children at some of the nearby concentration camps. They tried to make life in the concentration camps seem as “normal” as possible for the children, and taught them to cope with their feelings through art. A famous artist from Vienna was also imprisoned in the concentration camp, and gave many lessons to the children. Their artwork was dark and depressing, but very interesting to look at. The majority of the children at the nearest concentration camps were eventually deported to Auschwitz and killed in gas chambers there.  We also walked through the Jewish cemetery, dating back hundreds and hundreds of years. The bodies were buried in those quarters ten layers deep, because there wasn’t enough room. The tombs were pulled up and thrown around as more and more bodies were put into the same ground, so the cemetery looks ridiculous and completely chaotic. The tombs look like they were just thrown inside. The chaotic look fits quite nicely with the persecution of the Jews though, I guess. We also went into the Spanish synagogue, which was gorgeous.

Sunday night, we went to a nice dinner at a restaurant close to our apartment. We got home around 10:30 or so maybe. Around 11 or 11:30, Dad was fast asleep, but Crystal and I decided we wanted to go back out to see the city lit up at night. I figured we wouldn’t be gone long, just take a few pictures and come back. Well, we got a little turned around. I know it sounds crazy, me getting lost and going the wrong way, but it’s true just this time. Anyway, we accidentally walked all the way to Wencelas Square, which was where we’d wanted to go earlier in the day but decided that it was too far away. I’m not sure how we ended up there, but we sure did. We were walking and thinking, “Hmm, how’d we miss this busy street earlier today?” and “Well look at this long square, it must be the shopping area or something?” So funny. So we walked pretty far, getting so turned around, but eventually found our way home around 1 am. Oops. But at least we got some good pictures out of it!

Monday morning, we got up and ventured off to the Prague monastery. I was hoping to see some chanting monks, but “no cigar” on that one.  We went into the library, saw their brewery, walked along the orchards and vineyards of apples and grapes, and headed back to our apartment. We set up a ride with a shuttle service to take us to Hallstatt. It was actually less expensive than taking the train, and much more convenient than lugging our huge suitcases down the cobblestone and changing trains three times. So here we are, driving through rural Czech Republic and excited about Hallstatt this evening! Home sweet Austria, here I come  J

Sad Goodbyes

Stina, Ozlem, Carmen, & Tugba

Stina, Ozlem, Carmen, Tugba, and me

Well I just said goodbye to one of my very best friends in Graz, Tugba. It was so sad, I cried while giving her a hug. It’s a hard thing, studying abroad. You go somewhere you’ve never been and you don’t know anyone and you have no idea what to expect. Then, you meet a million people from all different places, and you try desperately to make friends and exchange phone numbers or facebook information. Then, you meet up with people. You put yourself out there, take a risk, ask them if they want to meet up. Sometimes, it’s a little awkward. Conversation is slow. Maybe their English isn’t very good. But you do whatever you can to make a few friends in the beginning. Once you have a few, you start to meet people and meet friends of friends. You form your little group. You start to travel with these people, take classes together, and form deeper relationships. You start to let them into your life a little bit at a time. Piece by piece, you form true friendships.  Then, it all comes to an end just as quickly as it started. Your friends, your pals, your only go to’s in a land far away from home… you have to leave each other. You go off to different places, all over the world.

To be honest, I really only made a few close friends in Austria. I have a lot of acquaintances, people who I like to hang out with in the park, meet up for a cup of coffee, exchange travel stories, maybe take a class together. But the ones who bring tears to my eyes when I hug them goodbye, there’s only a few. Tugba, Carmen, Stina, and Ozlem have been my girls since I’ve been here. They’re the ones I’ve spent most of my time with, and who have made a lasting imprint on my heart. Saying goodbye to them is so hard. With an ocean between us, I honestly have no idea when I will see them next.  But I am so thankful for these girls, and for the memories that I have with them in Graz.

It’s funny to look back on the way that I became friends with them. Stina is best friends with the little sister of one of my best friends.  Megan is a girl who I played soccer with at Arkansas State, but who is from New Mexico. Her little sister, Lisa, did an exchange program for a semester at our school, to spend time with Megan. During the fall, I was preparing for my semester abroad. I remember the day that I found out that I would be going to Austria. I was telling Lisa about it, and she told me that she has a friend at home who also was going to Austria for the semester. She didn’t know which city, but told me she would call and find out. Turned out, we were going to not only the same city, but also the same university. So crazy. So we got in contact with one another, and got on the same flight to Vienna. Sure enough, we became close friends. 

When I first moved in, I lived in a dorm called Leechgasse. Ozlem also lived in the dorm, on the same floor as me. So I met her, and thought she was so cute. The other people from Turkey, Ben and Tugba, knew that Ozlem was also Turkish and so they met up. Ben and Tugba started coming over to hang out with Ozlem, and so I met them too. The three Turks, who I fell in love with from the beginning. Tugba’s English was pretty bad in the beginning, and it was really hard for me to understand her. But I loved talking to her.  At the time, I had no idea that she would soon be my roommate. Later on, my room got bed bugs. The whole thing was a huge disaster. I was homeless for a while, with my stuff packed in trash bags in all different places. I tried to move into the nicer dorms, but the place I wanted wasn’t available, and the only other rooms were way too expensive. So I moved into Hafnerreiegel, and became roommates with Tugba. The dorm was the joke of the city, but I had a great roommate. I had learned from traveling during our three-week break, that it’s more about who you’re with than where you are. So I decided to live in Haffy with Tugba. From there, we quickly became close friends.

My friendship with Carmen is also a funny story. She was roommates with another American girl, Shelby. She had told me that Carmen didn’t speak English, but that she spoke Spanish, so Shelby and Carmen could talk to each other in Spanish. I never really tried to talk to her, because I thought she couldn’t speak English. Then one day, Stina and I saw Carmen sitting outside her room. We asked her what she was doing, and she told us that Shelby had accidentally locked her out of their room while she was in the kitchen. She didn’t have Shelby’s number, so she was just sitting there and waiting for Shelby to come back some time with the keys and let her in. Stina and I were about to go to Ikea to try to buy a blender, and so we invited Carmen to come. We had fun that day, shopping and talking and meeting one another. All because Carmen had been locked out of her room, we got to meet one another and become very close friends. Crazy how life works.

It’s so funny for me to look back on it all. I remember being on the plane and wondering who I would meet and where I would live. So much was ahead of me. It could have gone a million different ways, but I met who I met and went where I went, and I truly believe that it all happened for a reason. God is sovereign, and knew exactly who I would meet and where I would end up. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. I am so thankful for the experiences that I had, and the relationships that I still have.

I will be back on American soil in less than two weeks. I am beyond excited!  Back to familiarity, everything being in English, family and American friends. But there are so many mixed emotions right now. Happy to go home, sad to leave my life here. All in all, I think you have to just be thankful for the times that you’ve had, learn from your experiences, and open the next chapter in your book of life. You take each day as it comes. On I go.