Captivating

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

By John and Stasi Eldrege

So I’m about halfway through the book Captivating, and wanted to take some time to reflect on what I’ve learned from it so far. It talks about the purpose of life for both men and women- what they were created by God to be and to do. Men and women are very different, revealing different qualities of God. The book obviously goes into great detail, but here’s a brief overview of what I took away.

Men have three core desires in their hearts:

1.     Every man wants a battle to fight.

a.     This can be seen in little boys wanting to play with toy weapons, light sabers, air soft guns, pirate swords. They wrestle and slam each other into walls to show affection. They watch action movies, filled with battles and fights and heroes.

2.     Men long for adventure.

a.     It can be seen in little boys jumping and climbing and crashing. They want to be tested, and to discover they have what it takes.

3.     Every man longs for a Beauty to rescue.

a.     Men need someone to fight for. “There is nothing that inspires a man to courage so much as the woman he loves.” Men long to offer their strength on behalf of a woman- because they were created to do so by God.

All women, in their heart of hearts, desire three things:

1.     to be romanced

a.     we want to be the beauty, abducted by the bad guys, then fought for and rescued by the hero… we love feeling wanted and fought for

b.     we want to be precious to someone, to be pursued, desired, wanted as a woman

2.     to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure

a.     women are meant to be warriors too, but warriors in a uniquely feminine way… we long to be needed and irreplaceable

b.     we desire adventure that is shared; not adventure merely for adventure’s sake, but for it requires of us for others

c.      made in the image of a perfect relationship, we are relational to the core of our beings

3.     to unveil beauty

a.     think of a little girl twirling her skirt and making up a song and dance routine… she goes up to her mom or dad and asks if they would like to hear her song, not really caring if she is an interruption, fully expecting to be delighted in. A little girl in her glory is unashamed of her desire to delight and to be delighted in.

b.     we desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are

c.      God is beautiful, and women reflect that beauty in a unique way.

It's pretty cool how you can see how God made men and women to be together!

Now, although man was created first, woman is certainly not the “leftover.” In Genesis 2:7, “God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Yep- that is pretty dang cool! And yet, God said that something was missing. And that something is Eve. And so “God cast a deep slumber on the man, and he slept, and He took one of his ribs and closed over the flesh where it had been, and the Lord God built the rib He had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.” (Gen 2:21-23)

Eve is the Master’s finishing touch, the crescendo of creation. She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill. Eve bears the image of God in a different way than Adam does.

Women display God’s desire for relationships, that He is relational to His core, and that He has a heart for romance. He longs to share adventures with us. Women show that God has a beauty to unveil. Women are naturally relational; they talk and are relational creatures from their beginning. “The vast desire and capacity a woman has for intimate relationships tells us of God’s vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships.” Yep- God desires relationships with every single one of us. And women help display this character trait of God. Wow.

God longs to love us, and also to be loved by us.  He wants to be your priority. He wants us to love Him, to seek Him with our whole hearts (Matt 22:36-38). God longs to be desired just as women long to be desired. He has a passionate and romantic heart!

Now this is one of the coolest things I’ve ever learned. Women so often feel insignificant. But when God created Eve, He called her an “ezer kenegdo.”

“It is not good for man to be alone, I shall make him an ezer kenegdo.” Gen 2:18

Hebrew scholar Robert Alter has spent years translating the book of Genesis, and says this phrase is “notoriously difficult to translate.”  The various English versions we have are helper, companion, and help meet. The word ‘ezer’ is used only 20 other places in the entire Old Testament, and in every other instance the person being described by the word is God himself, and in situations where you need Him to come through for you desperately. (Deur 33:26,29, Ps 121:1-2, Ps 20:1-2, Ps 33:20, Ps 115:9-11). Most of these contexts are life and death, and God is your only hope- your ‘ezer.’ A better translation would be LIFESAVER.  And ‘kenegdo’ means alongside.  So yes, Eve is essential as Adam’s ezer kenegdo!!

God longs for Romance; God longs to be our ‘ezer kenegdo.’ God revels beauty as essential to life. And women are the image bearers of this God. So cool! Shout out to John and Stasi Eldrege for revealing to me the importance of women.