So I went on this three-week trip in April, and then came
back to Graz without a place to live after being forced to move out of my dorm
at the end of March. When I came back, I didn’t know where I wanted to live, or
where God wanted me to live. The first night, I stayed in my friend Carmen’s
room, but the other people at Leechgasse didn’t like me staying there if I
don’t live there. I didn’t feel welcome at all, so I stayed with my friend
Tugba the next night. She lives in Hafnerreigel, the terrible dorms across from
the city jail, the dorms that are being torn down in June. I tried to find
other dorms to live in, with my old roommate, Melissa. We went from dorm to
dorm, asking if they had open rooms, and finding out pricing. We found a few
decent dorms, one with a pretty good price of 230 Euros per month, and that
could be moved into the next morning. The only problem was that there was only
one room available, and both of us needed a room. So I let Melissa have it. Long
story short, I knew I would end up at Haffy, as much as I tried to run away
from it.
So I finally surrendered the fight, and here I am- moved
into Hafnerreigel, the dorm that’s the joke of the city.
While traveling, the biggest thing I learned is this:
It’s
not about where you are, it’s about who you’re with.
Coming back to Graz and talking about my travels, people
kept asking me what I’d learned. Discussing my travel companions and repeating
that to them continued to make it more and more clear to me that I should move
to Hafnerreigel. It’s not about how nice the dorms are, it’s about who I’m with
there. I’d rather live with an amazing girl in a total dump, than live in the
Ritz Carlton with no one who I enjoy spending time with.
Then, I ran into my next problem. Should I pay rent? The guy who owns the dorms
has been very mean to me and to my friend Stina since we’ve been here. The
biggest thing that he did to really offend me is to lie straight to my face.
When I was forced to move out of my room because of the bed bugs, he told me
that no one would be living in that room this semester as they continued to try
to eliminate the bed bug problem without allowing it to spread. When I got back to Graz after Spring Break,
however, they had moved a new guy into my old room. Supposedly, this guy was
also being bitten. It was so dishonest, and such a blatant lie told straight to
my face, it really made me mad. There
are a lot of people who live at Hafnerreigel for free, and get away with it. It
would be very easy to copy the key, and just move my stuff in. Nobody checks
the rooms. I could save about $500. That’s what those dorm owners deserve
anyway, for what they’ve done to me! Right?
Wrong…
I had to pray about
my ability to love him, because I was beginning to harbor bitterness in my
heart, and I don’t want that!
Eph
4:31 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice.”
I was
so tempted by this, that I had looked into copying the key, and told the “city
registration” that I was moving back to the US so that I would not be
technically registered at any dorm. I
could save $500, think of what I could do with that money… the dorms deserve it
anyway for the way they’ve treated me… no one will ever find out… so many
people do it… the lies so easily get
into your head and you start to justify a decision that you know, deep down, is
wrong.
After
a few days of thinking about, and going back and forth about it, I had an
intimate morning with God. A few specific verses really spoke to me:
Daniel 7:9-10, 14 “…the
Ancient of Days took his seat.
His clothing was as white as snow; the
hair of his head was white like wool.
His throne was flaming with fire, and
its wheels were all ablaze… A river of fire was flowing,
coming out from
before him. Thousands upon thousands attended him; ten thousand times ten
thousand stood before him… all nations and peoples of every language worshiped
him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his
kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.”
Revelation 4:8 “Each of the four
living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under
his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the
Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."
Who is this God we serve?!
He is HOLY, HOLY, HOLY! A river
of fire flows from before Him! All nations and people of every language will
worship Him. Is it $500 worth anything in comparison to this holy
God? Absolutely not. I was getting so caught up in the things of
this world. Money- can use it to eat well, to travel, for entertainment… but
none of these things should be anything in
my life when I compare them to the joy that comes from God!
Philippians
4:8 ”What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing
greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all
things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”
Even the things in this world that are the best of the best, all
the money and glory and fame and power, that the world has to offer- Paul says
that they are nothing but rubbish in comparison with Jesus Christ. Nothing else
really matters! The things of this world are so temporary, yet they so easily
entangle us in their grasp.
God really showed His faithfulness
to me as I started praying that He would help me to build convictions about the
matter. I asked Him to help me not even question it anymore, whether or not I
would try to live for free, and to focus my mind back onto Him. Literally right
as I’m praying for these things, Tugba walks in the door. She asks me if I’ve
talked to the owner of the dorms yet, and I tell her no. She says that she was
just downstairs, and he is there in his office, so I can go talk to him right
now. He only has two office hours per week, so I thought it was perfect- I’d go
right away. God made it so easy for me to choose Him, by providing me with a
path to honesty right then and there, as I was developing a conviction on the
matter.
1
Cor 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. God is
faithful, and will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able. But
with every temptation, He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are
able to bear it.”
Talk about God providing me with a way of escape from the temptation! He made it crystal clear. He is so
faithful! Anyway, I went and talked to
the owner of the dorms, and got officially moved in. I can’t even describe the
weight lifted off my shoulders, the guilt and fear that was gone.
We serve a God who is Holy, Holy,
Holy, and who requires everything of us. There’s no partial surrender. If you’ve
surrendered your life to Christ, that means that every aspect of your life is
controlled by Him. Even when it hurts a little, even when you have to make some
major sacrifices. We are loved and owned and held securely by the Creator of
the Universe- that alone should dominate our lives.
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